Script version 2

Pretty self explanatory really!



PIRATES OF THE PRODUCE AISLE
By Lewis Drew Taylor

Pan out from sign displaying the offer of the new ‘Petey’s Golden Treasure Cereal’ revealing the display.
A can is thrown into a trash bin. The camera pans right to reveal The Guard leaning back on his chair.
Guard picks his teeth, then his stomach rumbles. He leans into his security room and stares at the CCTV screens. There he sees the camera pointing to the cereal display. He licks his lips, jumps off his chair and sits in his mobility scooter. We see him tacking off down the aisle.
The cereal is on its display stand looking extremely desirable. The guard pulls up in front of it and is eclipsed by its huge shadow. The cereal has an angelic aura around it. The guard tries to reach the cereal without leaving his scooter. He looks disappointed but then has an idea. The next shot is of his claw grabber grabbing the cereal.
The guard puts the cereal box in his arms, turn around and drives off. The camera pans in on the cutout of Breadbeard. The guard licks his lips. Breadbeard’s cut-out suddenly frowns and smirks. The guard is getting ready to open the box. Breadbeard begins to pull himself out of his cut out. Breadbeard becomes 3dimensional and lands, powerfully down on the floor.

BREADBEARD
Lads…
Patches and walker pull themselves out their cut-outs.

BREADBEARD (CONT’D)
Walker, Patches. Looks like we got ourselves a little pickpocket.

PATCHES
Aye, Cap’n Breadbeard. He’s got our treasure!

BREADBEARD
Yarrh, I can see that Patches. Listen lad if ya hand over me booty maybe we’ll let ya leave with your own jewels in their proper place, If ya catch me drift. Watcha say?
The guard pauses, screams then speeds off.

WALKER
He is getting away Captain.

BREADBEARD
Argh, no he isn’t.

We see the guard being pursued by the pirates in a ship attached to trolleys. The guard looks back in terror.

BREADBEARD
Mwah ha ha ha FIRE!

Patches grabs some watermelons and gives them to Walker to fire out of the cannon. The guard dodges every projectile.

WALKER
Our current ammunition seems to be insufficient Captain.

BREADBEARD
Aye, we need somthin’ with a little more kick to it!

Breadbeard and Walker turn around to view Patches looking very nervous. Patches is fired from the canon and latches himself on the back of the guard’s head. The guard swerves side to side in a panic. He pulls Patches off of him and tosses him to the front of the ship.
Breadbeard grabs a rope and latches it onto a sign post overhead.
BREADBEARD
Urrgh never said an idiot to do a pirates job

Breadbeard swings off the ship and onto the front of the scooter. Breadbeard pulls out his sword. The guard scrambles and grabs his claw grabber. The two engage in a sword battle. They lock swords together as Breadbeard leans in close.

BREADBEARD
(shouting) GIVE ME BACK ME TREASUUURE!

The Guard begins to look angry.

GUARD
(screaming) Neveerrrr!

The guard disarms Breadbeard and sends his sword flying. The sword hits the front of the ship, cutting the ropes and setting free the trolley. The Ship hits the ground and begins to grind forward.

The Guard realises he is in power and points his grabber at Breadbeard. Breadbeard notices the oncoming ship. The guard turns around. The two of them scream and embrace each other as the ship crashes into them.
Cut to black.
Fading in, we see the wreckage of the scooter and the ship. The guard is unconscious on the floor. A pair of hands pick up the cereal. Breabeard, looking rather battered, raises the box above his head.

BREADBEARD
Lads! We did it! I told ya no one touches me booty!

The pirates disappear off screen. Hours later the Guard awakes. He walks down the aisles to see the shop is open showing many signs advertising the free sample of the cereal. He sees the cut outs looking maniacally at him. The camera dolly zooms in on him as he screams.